11.7.06

Jo Gets Religious

No wonder I haven't found God - S/he's in London! Looks like I'll have to move to England to save my soul. Darn!

8 comments:

Rev Transit said...

Did you read thru their beliefs, though? Kind of standard dogma, if you ask me:

Jesus is the son of God-- check
Bible is the inspired word of God-- check
Christ rose from the dead-- check
"That the descendants of Jacob, grandson of Abraham, are a distinct and separate people from those who call themselves Jews today...The true descendants of Israel are in the Celto-Anglo-Saxon, Scandinavian, Germanic and Dutch/Holland peoples in Australia, Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and America (A Great Nation) and the British Isles (A Great Nation and Company of Nations)... The Royal Family is directly descended from the Line of David."--check

Oh, wait, that last one is a little different. Makes it more interesting, for sure. Still, they could use a magic cup or something...

Mu said...

Wow! Even their color for highlighting words is orange!

OrangeMoJoJo said...

Oh. My. God.

How. Freaking. Bizarre.

Leave it to The Rev to actually NAVIGATE this site. I SO thank you for doing so!! As Shannon said - I couldn't have found a more bizarre church if I'd tried. Oh my god.

"We Believe: The true descendants of Israel are in the Celto-Anglo-Saxon, Scandinavian, Germanic and Dutch/Holland peoples in Australia, Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and America (A Great Nation) and the British Isles (A Great Nation and Company of Nations)."

How DARE they use orange to highlight this entry?? Now I definitely have to move to London to set these people straight. Shannon, pack the ferrets and my super-sized can of whoop-ass. Either they strike the word "orange" from their name, or they will suffer my wrath for using orange in such a freakish manner. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Shannon said...

I dunno...they make some sense. Look:

They claim the Celto-Anglo-Saxon, Germanic and Dutch peoples (and the nations they settled) are the true Jews. Well, look at the intials of the peoples listed here: CASGD. Significant, non? No? C'mon, people!

Okay, I'll spell it out for you:

CAS. C is only 4 letters from J. A is only 4 letters from E. S is only 4 letters from W. CAS is obviously code for "JEW". Too, if you add up the difference in the letters between "CAS" and "JEW", you get 4 + 4+ 4 = 12. The 12 tribes of Israel.

If this wasn't plain enough, GD is plainly the word GOD without the vowel, which is clearly a Hebrew tradition.

Look at the facts, people, before you judge the orange church!

Rev Transit said...

Shannon is the ultimate Dispensationalist among us! Who woulda thunk it?

Any church in the British world that colors itself orange is going to be a bit unusual, even by American standards. The orangists are generally anti-Catholic, Ulster Protestants, Dutch Reformed-- in other words the creme de la creme of Calvinist zanies.

Of course, it's a zaniness that I feel myself pulled toward, but that's another story.

Rev Transit said...

Oh, oh oh! Did you check out their page on homosexuality?

Anonymous said...

Here's my favorite quote from the page "Homosexuality: lifestyle or abomination?":

"It is very popular today to he homosexual or lesbian, I don't know about coming out of the closet, they are literally coming out of the woodwork!"

Man, I wish _I_ were gay so I could be popular, too! Popular enough to be treated as second-class citizens!

Shannon said...

Oops - that was me...