Women Of the World! Raise Your Full Wallets!

DeBeers has made a brilliant (pun intended) move. The diamond industry is focusing it's marketing eye on "you independent women!" by advertising the diamond right hand ring.

Why a Right Hand Ring?
You've Earned it!
You're Left Hand Feeds the Family
Your Right Hand Takes the Cake
Your Left Hand Knows the Limits
Your Right Hand Knows no Boundaries
Your Left Hand Holds the Keys
Your Right Hand Drives the Car
Your Left Hand Weeds the Garden
Your Right Hand Picks the Flowers
Treat yourself... you've earned it!
Right hand rings express you!

...What does that even mean?!??!?

Sarah Jessica Parker, Julia Roberts, Halley Barry, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Victoria-Posh Spice-Beckham are all sportin' the bling on their right hands, because they're really really independent, free-thinking, and super-cool. Not, of course, because they were given to them by the diamond company! Nooo-hoooo!!

I'll admit it is a brilliant marketing scheme. Single women - wear 'em because you don't need a man to be awesome! Married women - wear 'em because you are so much more than just a wife!

I'm going to do a little inadvertent free marketing by linking to this site because these rings really are gorgeous, and just seeing them will make you want one. Just remember that the diamond industry is not really celebrating your individuality at all - they're celebrating the fact that women have money, too, and they can increase their profits by at least half if every woman buys one of these things. DeBeers is going Hallmark on a huge scale, creating a need where none exists for a really expensive product. If you want to buy yourself a ring, go ahead! But remember that you don't need one. You don't need to prove anything to anyone - least of all the diamond industry.

Hallmark has been marketing celebrations of all kinds - real and imagined - by creating holidays (Boss' Day, Sweetest Day, Grandparent's day, and Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day), and by making what used to be fun holidays like Halloween and Christmas a total nightmare for many people because they feel that if they're not spending enough, people won't think they care enough. If they cared enough, they'd "send the very best," and the very best costs money. The diamond industry is attempting to do the same by making women feel they need to spend a ton of money on a piece of jewelry. Men have been made to feel they must buy chocolates and flowers on "holidays" like Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day for years.

If you love someone, it shows every day, not twice a year in February and October. If you love and respect yourself, you don't have to prove it to the world by wearing something flashy on your right hand.


Rev Transit said...

My coworkers are saying that fake diamonds are so much better now that you need special tools to tell the difference.

If I were DeBeers, I would have linked the second diamond to an important event in a woman's life, like her first college graduate child or something. (I almost said seminal event...)

Shannon said...

It's always heart-warming when a major business takes such an interest in our well-being!

Maybe they can work on convincing men on how manly it is to wear diamonds! The "Iron John" of jewelry!

Rev Transit said...

Oh, I suggest that a major television manufacturer launch a campaign saying that women should spend at least two month's salary on their big screen TVs.

evandebacle said...

Men buy diamonds already, either to win the hearts of a ladies or because they're pimps. What DeBeers needs to do is market to the Holy Grail, 'tweens. They need to start convincing these immature possessors of mature tastes (not to mention the distributors of their parents' oh-so-discretionary income) that the ultimate in bling, the bling that is forever, is the key to their nascent materialist dreams and their half-naively flaunted sexuality. Everyone in fourth grade must know that if your bookbag ain't holdin' a Harry Potter Trapper Keeper tricked out with Congolese blood diamonds, then you ain't shit.