Exchange on Street in Pittsburgh

Homeless man outside of CVS: "You think you're BETTER than me but you're NOT! You're not better than ME! You THINK you're better than me, but you're NOT BETTER THAN ME! HEY You're not better than me, lady!"

Orange: "Sir, I know that. I just really don't have any change."

The Best Seafood Restaurant in Pittsburgh!

Sunday night after the exams were done I was exhausted and suffering from a headache of epic proportions. Plus I was starving. All I wanted to do was get something to eat, down a couple of ibuprofen tablets, go back to my room and watch Thank You For Smoking, and go to bed. Unfortunately, downtown Pittsburgh is absolutely deserted on Sundays after 6PM. All that was open was Quiznos (toasty!) and Subway (eat fresh!) - neither of which appealed to me.

After wandering around for about half an hour and determining that aside from the homeless I was the only one walking outside, I decided to call it quits. The backup plan I'd formulated during my wanderings was to go back to the hotel, order a chicken sandwich at their quieter, less chichi restaurant, the Tap Room, and THEN go back to my room and watch my movie and go to bed. As crummy as I felt, I could not bring myself to simply order room service as ridiculously overpriced as it was when I could pay 1/2 of what I'd be charged for the same thing, served hot, at a decent restaurant.

On the way back into the hotel I was greeted by one of the doctors who I seemed to see EVERYWHERE over the course of the week from the time I stepped out of my cab last Wednesday. He was in the lobby waiting for M to come down from her room as they were headed off to a really nice restaurant at a nearby hotel for dinner. He invited me to join them, but I begged off with my headache. He persisted, and after M came down and insisted, I caved, but not until I'd snagged a couple packets of Motrin from the gift shop for the price I could have gotten a bottle of 100 for at CVS - IF IT HAD BEEN OPEN.


But I digress.

We get to the restaurant and the greeter seats us and I just want to go back to my room. Then my companions start discussing sushi options and I just want to go back to my room. Don't get me wrong, I love sushi, but I had no taste for it. I looked over the extensive seafood menu (it was a seafood restaurant after all) and nothing appealed to me, I just wanted to go back to my room. You know I'm feeling like crap when not even the halibut looks tasty.

I finally just told them to order what they wanted, I'd get some soup and maybe an appetizer. At least my headache was starting to subside - I was in good company. Both M and the doc are very entertaining, really nice people. I was trying to keep my spirits up and my end of the conversation, but I'm afraid I was coming up short. At least the Motrin started to work. I figured, by the time I finally got back to my room, my headache would at least be gone.

Our waiter, Derek or Erik, had to come back to our table three times due to technical difficulties. Doc and M were having trouble figuring out how to order the sushi bits they wanted, then how to split the bill.

I just wanted to go back to my room. "It's only a block away," I was thinking, "I could excuse myself to the bathroom and just not come back, damn. I guess that WOULD be rude..." The bill thing is settled, the sushi's been ordered, it's my turn to order. Mind you, D/Erek's a great waiter. He's funny and upbeat and attentive without hovering at our table.

In short, I know I can totally give him shit.

D/Erek: "And for you, miss?" (2 bucks extra tip for calling me "miss" and not "ma'am" though he's like 10 years my junior)

Orange: *HEAAAAAAAAAAAVY SIGH* (in the best "rich" accent I can affect): "D/Erek. I have been scrutinizing this menu for about 2o minutes to no avail. The dish I want is simply NOT on it."

D/Erek (without even blinking): "What exactly were you looking for? We might be able to accomodate you."

Orange: "Well, the halibut looks stunning, D/Erek, but what I really really want is a grilled cheese sandwich." (I really did, too.)

D/Erek: "We make. The BEST. Grilled cheese sandwich. I'll just tell the chef it's for a kid if he asks."

Orange: "I can totally act the part!"

D/Erek: "I'm sure you can, ma'am." (subtract $2 from tip for calling me "ma'am; add $5 for the grilled cheese)

Headache: "See ya Monday when you're flight's delayed and you're sitting on the tarmack for 3 hours!"

Orange: "What?"

They did make the best grilled cheese, too!! It was AWESOME!!! Second only to the one I had at the Old Coach House in Boscastle, Cornwall on our honeymoon. It put the cup of lobster bisque I'd ordered to shame. There was no virgin Mary on it or anything, but it sure did cure my headache.

Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sammich Sold on E-Bay for $28,000

Hey, Ya! I Have Become Comfortably Numb!

Two of the best covers I've come across are the Scissors Sisters' "Comfortably Numb" and Mat Weddle's (of Obadiah Parker) "Hey Ya!" What I like about them is they are SO different from the original songs. I love watching a live band cover a song that I can sing along to, but when a band goes and records a cover that sounds so much like the original it's hard to tell them apart, well, that's just parasitic unless you're Joe Cocker. And I hate parasites except for the Parasite Pals because unlike real parasites, Parasite Pals are cute and they don't try to suck out your brains like balamuthia. That is definitely NOT cute, and neither is covering a song identically. There is an opening here for a band that exclusively covers other bands' songs to name themselves The Balamuthia Brain Suckers or, if it's a single female singer doing the covering, she could just call herself Balamuthia. Maybe the name would catch on and unsuspecting parents everywhere would be christening their children Balamuthia.

I like to use information I learn as soon as I can so I don't lose it. You can thank the X-Files (season 1 disc 5) for my new knowledge of the parasitic balamuthia amoeba, of which I will stop writing because I just ate lunch myself. To take your mind off it, enjoy listening to Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover of "I Believe I Can Fly," lunch intact.

Fafblog is now a CobWeb

I came across the office slang term "cobweb" today, meaning "a WWW site that never changes", and thought immediately of my dearly departed FafBlog. I have been checking faithfully every week, HOPING to hear something, ANYTHING from Fafnir. I'd even settle for one of those stupid "pie blogging" entries, or something especially creepy from Medium Lobster. I miss you most of all, Giblets! If you don't miss Giblets, you are made of stupid!!