Viva GLAM(inals)!

I meant viva animals, of course!

OrangeMoJoJo has decided to make a serious effort to purchase products that are not tested on animals. Because I like them! And M.A.C. says if I use their pro
ducts, which are NOT tested on animals, I can totally look like this:

Viva Glam!

I think Dita von Teese is the sexiest sleazy woman alive, and that she didn't need to be told that by being "awarded" the title of Ultra Vixen. I do wonder what the heck she was thinking when she married Marilyn Manson, but then, opposites attract and all that.... I'm not a fan of Mr. Warner's music, but I do think he's got quite a mind (remember him in Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine?). Maybe that's it....

I am totally torn as to who should win custody of their cats, Lily and Aleister.
Viva Goth!
But I digress.

I have been in the process of sorting through my makeup and bath/body products to make sure I'm not using anything that's been tested on animals. I always MEAN to be aware, but I am so often drawn by cute (read: not Marilyn Manson-esque) packaging, that something may have slipped through. I was very pleased to find that my favorite brands are indeed NOT tested on animals. I'll share some products here that I use and absolutely swear by, and some that I won't buy because 1) they're crap and 2) they're tested on animals. For the most part, those that were crap were tested on animals, which leads me to wonder - why continue to test your products on animals??? You're obviously not learning anything!!!

With the exception of L'Oreal, that is. I've been using L'Oreal's Feria hair color on and off for years. I did not realize that it was tested on animals, and now that I do know, I'll be returning the box I just bought. Shame on you, Feria! And shame on me for not checking first.

I'm gonna warrant a guess that Kevin does NOT use Feria.

The lists I have supplied below are FAR from complete. Click on the headings for more complete lists. This goes for ye men as well. Gillette, Colgate, and Bic test on animals, for example. And what do you use to wash your hair?

MAC (Buy Viva Glam products!!! 100% of your purchase goes to AIDS research!!!! To date they've raised over $86 million!!!)
Chanel (I swear by their foundation)
H2O Plus
Better Botanicals
Urban Decay (okay maybe there's a little Marilyn Manson in me after all!)
OPI (okay, how fun are the names of their nail polishes? My personal favorites are Didgeridoo My Nails?, Romeo and Juliet, Big Apple Red (must be the Dita von Teese in me!), and Not So Bora-Boring Pink)

Maybelline (I've written them 3 times - never received a response)
L'Oreal (Feria *sob!* I just wrote them)
Max Factor
Cover Girl
Sally Hansen
Johnson and Johnson
Oil of Olay

Pope Against Prada Babies

Hip and trendy Roman Catholics are dismayed by a speech given in Rome this past Saturday condemning "designer babies."

"My baby CAN't wear anything but Louis Vuitton or I break out in hives!" cried Ashley Verciani of Los Angeles.

"Bergdorf. Nothing but Bergdorf." Mrs. Richard Cargill of Manhattan announced without hesitation when our reporters asked who her son Richie Jr. was spitting up on that very moment. "It's the only way I can tell my baby apart from the sea of cheap Gucci knockoffs the other nannies are pushing around the Park. If I have to fly to Rome again this year, I'll ask that little two-faced so-and-so wh
o designs HIS robes. And let me tell you something, it ain't Isaac Mizrahi."

Pope Benedict XVI wearing robes that were definitely NOT designed by
Isaac Mizrahi

SnobbyBabies.com has started inserting informative protestant leaflets into their shipping boxes.

Pope Benedict XVI has not officially addressed these concerns, but cardinals close to him report that he is "confused and alarmed" by the response. "He was talking about screening for things like birth defects and dye color before babies were born." a spokesman who asked to remain anyonymous stated over the phone. "He didn't realize how serious the problem was where parents want their babies to be born with little gold "Vs" and little "Ls" all over their bodies."

"My son, the shoes on your daughter's feet, which she will grow out of in 4 days,
can be used to restore all of England's churches to pre-reformation glory."

England's Red Carpet is ORANGE!!!

Yet more proof of how OrangeMoJoJo-friendly the UK is: The Orange British Academy Film Awards!

...even if they did present the Orange Best Newcomer award to Wednesday Adams.

Eva Green - the next Wonder Woman? Dear God, no!!
Let it be 1) Naomi or 2) Cobie Smulders.


You Know, Sometimes I Really Wish I Believed In Hell.

Then at least I could believe that this man, Paul E Cortez, (and his three monstrous "friends") would be taken care of in ways I can't even imagine after they died.

I don't have the words. I realize that a rape occurs on average every 2&1/2 minutes, just in the States, maybe it occurs more or less often in other countries, but you can only wrap your brain around so much. A case like this, for example. The horror of it. The terror that child, a CHILD, must have felt and the helplessness her family must have felt. I cannot describe the anger and powerlessness this sort of news makes me feel.

He was sentenced to 100 years, but he's up for parole in 10. At least he was held accountable. I hope the other three are as well.


More Random Lyrics!

This is actually harder than I thought, so it won't be a regular spot here at OrangeBlog. I know, I know. Please don't cry.

Prince is, sadly, NOT represented in the lyrics below.
I was looking for a picture of him crying and came across this photo.
At least he's pouting.

This photo reminded me that I had a pair of sunglasses exactly. like. these. in highschool.
Which made ME cry.
So go ahead and picture me with two uneven tracks of tears emergng from under (not over! That would be weird!) glasses exactly like these, and you've got a good photo to capture the feeling you've got knowing this MAY VERY WELL BE the VERY LAST SET of Random Lyrics you seen on OrangeBlog.

These are lyrics from another 25 songs that I pulled randomly from my head. #18 has been rolling around in that vast cavity for a few days now, and I was HOPING this exercise would help knock it on outta there, but it's pretty firmly lodged and stuck on endless loop. I'm singing it for you right now, so it's, like, a total giveaway. See if you can guess any of the rest of them. Or not. I realize some people don't have as much time as I do at the moment. You may want to save this blog entry for a day when I'm actually busy with, oh I don't know, work or something.

Today is not one of those days.

So here you go! More fun lyrics!

1. Hey there mighty brontosaurus, have you got a lesson for us?

2. And his face which was a paper-white mask of evil sang us this song

3. I'm going to Wichita

4. Just put me in a wheelchair and put me on a plane

5. You're such a silly woman

6. Kemosabe, you can kiss my ass I bought a boat I'm going off to sea

7. I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me

8. I'm a new day rising

9. We have the same intrigue as a court of kings

10. Chicken's in the bread pan picking at dough

11. I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing

12. I see you've sent my letters back and my LP records and they're all scratched

13. If you take away our rocket fuel we're gonna escape in cars

14. Nothing matters but the weekend from a Tuesday point of view

15. You're an acid junkie college flunkie dirty rotten daddy bastard

16. She smiled and said "forgive me" as she let go of my hand

17. Your head is firmly lodged way up your butt where it belongs

18. No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark

19. She could kill you with the wink of an eye

20. She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake

21. Dr. Heckyll is his own little guinea pig because they all think he's mad

22. He could get away with murder one and you would clean the smoking gun

23. I'm as happy as Christmas

24. Where the demons dwell and the banshees live and they do live well

25. And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations they're quite aware of what they're going through.

What I Will Currently Be Reading As Soon As I Finish Writing Chapter 1

So a few months back I made a deal with myself and with Shannon. I can't buy any new books until I've done two things:

1) Read three of the books we already have, and
2) Write a chapter of my own book.

Well, I've read three books and have four more well underway. I just have to start writing Which really shouldn't be hard once I get started, seeing as I already have quite a bit written -the written part's just not all that organized. Yet.

In addition, I have the greater part of the outline done. I just have to put pen to paper, or, um, fingertips to keyboard.

I have a reason to get cracking on writing that chapter in my book immediately: I found out that a book has been published that I absolutely must buy in order that I may read it. It's The Pedagogue: Educating Montana by Charley Roll, the father of one David Roll, aka Droll, who was one of the reasons I stayed at my last job so long.

Charley passed away before he saw his book published, but David perservered and finally succeeded in getting it published through Infinity Publishing. Now, I don't normally like to buy books with words in the title that I have to look up in an online dictionary, but if Charley was half as funny as his son David, and I assume David must have gotten it from someone, I have to read this book.

Thank you, droll, for letting me know it's been published! I look forward to reading it, and I'm happy to hear you're enjoying your retirement. Again. Dang, I miss those committee meetings!! I hope you're keeping everyone in line!

Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.

Here's a list of everything I've given up for Lent this year starting this morning (after gorging myself on half a large calabrese pizza from Apart Pizza Company and Dinkels' AWESOME raspberry paczkis last night):

fried foods,
white bread,
chocolate with the exception of the occasional mocha,
whatever I define as "junk food," or in a nutshell:
anything with flavor.

World's coolest statue.
He lives at the Art Institute, but I don't know his name.

I also plan to increase my donations, and to find a place where I can do some volunteer work. Unfortunately, RVA's training sessions are starting tonight (mandatory orientation was on 2/7-2/8), so I can't FINALLY renew my crisis counselling certification this time 'round - something I've been wanting to do for about 3 years now. Hopefully I'll be more on the ball this summer. My one consolation is they usually have a plethora of northsiders eager to volunteer - it's the south side that could use some help.

I'd like to find volunteer work where I'd actually be working with people. Although I know there are many MANY organizations that require volunteers, I have no idea where to start.

On Easter, which marks the end of Lent, I plan to wear this shirt proudly:

C'mon! Do you really think there'd be a problem with the number of Catholics dropping off if the Church handed these out on Easter Sunday?

More Demand for Specialty License Plates

ButterNugget's cries have been heard! A NASCAR license plate is in the works!



My commute is about to get even MORE aggravating.

On February 9, a federal judge denied Jesse White's motion to overturn a ruling allowing "Choose Life" to be a slogan on license plates, claiming it would go against free speech. Well, I'm not against free speech, but I certainly believe there should be a pro-choice equivalent!

No matter! I'll simply make a healthy donation directly to Planned Parenthood and eliminate the middle man. If anything, these plates will make me more generous to pro-choice interests. I'll donate $5 to PP Every. Time. I see one. I don't know exactly how much money Choose Life Illinois will be making from each of these plates, but if I see the same cars on the way to and from work every day, I'll out-donate 'em in no time.

I am NOT happy that I'll be seeing such a political, morally devisive license plate on the road - ESPECIALLY since we don't have a simple, ORANGE!!!, "Pro Choice" counterpart. Actually, I'm thinking more a soft, calming blue....

I am of the mind that moral opinions like this should be restricted to bumper stickers on both sides, but it seems that choice (choice of term deliberate) has been taken away from me. Could I be reacting from the fear that our country is tilting dangerously to the right on the issue of abortion?

Hell yes.

KUDOS to Jesse White for trying to overturn this ruling. I am NOT looking forward to seeing these license plates on the road, but at least I know he tried to prevent it.


Without Further Ado

I think I may do one of these every week even if it amuses no one but me! This was fun!

Here are the answers to the random lines I posted a coupla-too-tree days ago. And let me just say how disappointed I am in each and every one of you for not knowing #15.
I hope as pennance it plays in your head nonstop throughout the weekend.

1. Even your emotions have an echo in so much space - Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy"
2. This is the strangest life I've ever known - The Doors, "Waiting for the Sun"
3. The proof is in the band
- Off Broadway, "Bully, Bully"
4. I would bury you alive but you might come back with a knife
- Scissors Sisters, "I Can't Decide"
5. She asked me if I'd beat her. I took her back to Hyatt House....I don't want to talk about it. - Warren Zevon, "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me"
6. I hope the Smoking Man's in this one! - Barenaked Ladies, "Pinch Me"
7. Some day mother will die and I'll get the money - They Might Be Giants, "I, Palindrome"

8. Look mummy! There's an airplane up in the sky!
- Pink Floyd, "Goodbye, Blue Sky"
9. With fingernails that shine like justice
- Cake, "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"
10. All the nightmares came today
- David Bowie, "Oh, You Pretty Things!"
11. I thank the lord there are people out there like you
- Elton John, "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters"
12. That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
- Queen, "Don't Stop Me Now"
13. No plastic money any more
- Falco, "Rock Me Amadeus"
14. I'm talking to a tight red sweater, feeling like Eddie Vedder
- John Hiatt, "Little Head"
15. You can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile
- Men Without Hats, "Safety Dance"
16. Who on earth do you think you are? A superstar? Well right you are!
- John Lennon, "Instant Karma"
17. Whatsammaterwitt-choo, Boy?
- The Rolling Stones, "Miss You"
18. A million years of evolution, we get Danny Quail
. - Oingo Boingo, "Insanity"
19. Then you'll see the glass hidden in the grass
- Morrissey, "Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself"
20. Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name
- Pearl Jam, "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town"
21. Arrest this girl her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill
- Radiohead, "Karma Police"
22. Let me drown in your laughter - John Denver, "Annie's Song"

23. We live in a beautiful world
- Coldplay, "Don't Panic"
24. Little old lady got mutilated late last night
- Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London"
25. Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed
- Morrissey, "Bigmouth Strikes Again"


Newest Culinary Craze

Mutated purple potatoes:

These are potatoes bred from seeds that had mutated while being carried aboard a Chinese spacecraft. Call my palate "pedestrian," but I'd rather have my spuds imported from Idaho rather than from a galaxy far, far away....Maybe I just watched Invasion of the Body Snatchers one too many times as a kid, or I took The X-Files way too seriously.

Foodies everywhere are going nuts for these things, apparently. I just think they'd make my mashed taters look weird.

Y'Know, I Really Didn't Get the Whole "Car Fetish" Thing....

Until now.

Peepster's got food porn on his site, my friends, I give you car porn.

Meet the Ferrari Ascari:

The Lamborghini (I BELIEVE this is the) Murcielago:

My all-time favorite automobile, even though it was NEVER produced in ORANGE!!! (until I get a hold of one! Bwah-hahahaha!): The Mercedes Benz 300 SL Coupe.

And THIS wonderful car was discontinued for reasons far beyond me: the Honda del Sol. I did see an ORANGE!!! custom job in San Antonio and it was beee-yoo-tifull!


Lifelong, Nonwavering, Dyed-in-the-Wool Move-Your-Butt-ocrat

This peace is so great.

I read this in the NY Times Magazine Sunday, January 7th. It's called "
Love Child" by Shalom Auslander. My commute may vary slightly from his from day to day, but I can totally relate. The line "I have a much easier time hating people when they aren't around....it's a real problem for me," made me laugh out loud and nod in understanding.

Just in case the link doesn't work, I've copied it below:


Published: January 7, 2007

War makes us weak! Wage peace! War sucks!

And that was just his rear bumper. Green Subaru was doing 12 miles an hour in a 40; I had been stuck behind him for 15 miles and was now, thank you very much, officially late for work.

I hate war! Violence is not the answer! Coexist!

I wanted to kill him.

''Come on,'' I urged.

I live in Woodstock, N.Y., a town famous for the peace, love and happiness preached here in the '60s. Of late, though, the VWs have been replaced with BMWs, the pot has been replaced with pinot and the freethinking has been replaced with bumper stickers expressing opinions with which everyone in town already agrees: war bad, peace good. Personally, in matters martial, I am, as I am with the Lord and my diet, decidedly undecided -- some days against the war, some days for it, some days believing in God, some days doubting, some days counting carbs, some days supersizing the fries and chocolate shake. In matters of transportation, however, I am a lifelong, nonwavering, dyed-in-the-wool Move-Your-Butt-ocrat.

I wondered if it was the weight of all those bumper stickers that was slowing him down. Farther up his rear end, the nondiscussion turned to environmentalism: Save the Earth! Daddy, what were trees like? And above the rear window, the inevitable, Guns don't kill people, people do (guns just make it easier!!!).

They sure do, I thought. The little darlings.

I grew up surrounded by anger, and it has been my lifelong struggle to avoid that emotion, in both myself and in others, and so I gave the car some gas, tooted my horn and waved politely as I pulled up alongside to pass him. There beneath the driver's window, just below the middle finger he was holding out at me, was a rainbow-colored peace sticker. Also, a dove.

A few weeks earlier, I was invited for dinner at the home of an international peace worker. All he wanted to do was fight. He blamed the West. I agreed. He said blaming the West was too easy and blamed organized religion. I concurred. He said it was naïve to lump all religions into one. I stabbed a cherry tomato with my salad fork and watched it slowly bleed to death. I suggested that perhaps the road to peace begins at our own doorsteps. Dinner tables, even. He said that was self-centered and isolationist of me, an example of destructive Western narcissistic individuality. I said the stuffed chicken was delicious. He said it was too dry. I blamed the West.

Having passed Green Subaru, I floored it, but since I was already 20 minutes late anyway, I decided to stop a mile farther up the road at the local roadside organic pesticide-free grass-fed nonimperialistic fruit market to grab a quick cup of coffee. I was busy choosing between the Himalayan Natural Eco-Organic Blend and the Nepalese Mountain Native Blend when I saw Green Subaru pull into the lot beside my car.

''Here we go,'' I thought.

He was a burly Caucasian man with a long beard, a Jerry Garcia T-shirt and a Rastafarian cap pulled over his long dreadlocks.

I have a much easier time hating people when they aren't around. When they are, I begin to forgive them. It's a real problem for me. Watching Green Subaru making his way toward the market, I began to feel regret. So he drives slowly? So he likes bumper stickers? We all have our faults.

''That your goddamn truck?'' Green Subaru asked.

My other problem is beards. I grew up around rabbis, so maybe that's it, but I don't trust them: not on rabbis, not on mullahs, not on the Amish, not on anyone. Unfortunately, beards seem to be making a comeback in my town -- Islamic-style beards, specifically -- as my bewildering neighbors paradoxically proclaim their love for peace and acceptance by adopting the facial hair of misogynistic, homophobic, religious fundamentalists. Green Subaru's beard seemed a volatile match for his Rastafarian dreads; it was only a matter of time before the conservative civilization of his chin clashed with the liberal one of his hair and his entire head became a quagmire of its own.

''Why don't you slow down and enjoy life,'' Green Subaru said, poking me in the chest at the word ''enjoy.''

I asked him politely not to touch me. I may have used the phrase ''Granola Boy.''

''Guy wants to fight with me now!'' Green Subaru called out. He sneered at me and went to join some of his friends at the juice bar, where, hunched over a shot of wheatgrass juice, he pointed at me. Everyone frowned at me and shook their heads. I felt like Israel.

I paid for my coffee, got into my truck and pulled back onto the road. I found myself behind a woman in a silver Honda. She was doing 20 in a 35.

''Come on,'' I urged.

I pulled up behind her and noticed a strip of stickers across her bumper.

Got Jesus? Honk if you love the Lord! Life is short. Pray hard!

I slowed down to 15, dropped back and hit the cruise control. I didn't want any trouble.

Best Valentine's Day Gift EVER!!

This morning Shannon and I shovelled out about 11 spots (Shannon - 7; Jo - 4) on our street in lieu of our morning workout. We were out there for over an hour and the time flew FAR faster than it does in the gym! I should really reread Einstein's theory of relativity. Anyway, Shannon started with my car, which iwas a Valentine's day gift in and of itself. Since he doesn't have a car, I buried him with snow when he wasn't looking and then dug him out. Man, was he happy to see me!

He went above and beyond this past Sunday, however, by having us duck in to The Chopping Block during our walk, "for no reason." He immediately spotted what he was looking for - the Batalli ORANGE!!! peppermills - and grabbed one. Luck was smiling on us as there was one of the larger grinders on clearance in the back! It was there for no reason but that there was a slight mar on the top, possibly from being scorched. I didn't even see it at first. It works fine!

I tried to get a picture of the actual peppermill with one of our myriad pets, but none of them was cooperative (might have been a mistake actually filling it before trying to pose a cat with it!). This is the best I could do without using PhotoShop:

Thank you, Shannon!! Happy Valentine's Day, LoveOfMyLife!

Grrrr! Arrgh!

A Valentine's Day Gift for Shannon!

To Date I've Only Seen the British Version of
The Office. I mean, why mess with perfection? I love Steve Carell, but how could you get more uncomfortable than Ricky Gervais as the Slough branch manager?

I've a feeling, however, that as of this Thursday night. When Joss Whedon. Directs. The Office., we'll be putting the American version in our Netflix queue.

This news came just after Whedon's announcement that he won't be directing Wonder Woman after all. Softens the blow but lightly.

Shannon and I don't have an antenna or cable hookup - we subsist solely on DVDs sent to us from our two main sources: Netflix and Mu. Aside from Battlestar Galactica
(click HERE to see BG characters done in a Simpsons style by one creative LiveJournalist), which we purchase literally the DAY they're released on DVD (oh when oh WHEN will Season 3 be released??? Holy frack I'm sick of waiting!!), we have next to no clue about what's going on in TV land.

Thank you, Mugsy,
for giving us non-TV-watchers the heads-up!

Will Summer Glau be making an appearance on The Office?
I didn't much care for Firefly, but I was fascinated by River!

25 Lines? Okay!, Umm, Maybe Not the FIRST Lines...and, like, Maybe Not In Any Particular Order....

Do I need an excuse to upload a creepy picture of Danny Elfman and Oingo Boingo?
Must I remind you AGAIN that this is MY blog? MINEMINEMINEMINE!!!?
Good. I'm glad we sorted that out.

From The Peepster's Blog:

Step 1: Put your media player on random
Step 2: Post the first line(s) of the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from

Well, I didn't do any of these! HA! But I DID choose 25 songs IN MY HEAD and wrote down a RANDOM LINE from each of them. Should be just as embarrassing! What a fun exercise!

See how many you can guess:

1. Even your emotions have an echo in so much space

2. This is the strangest life I've ever known

3. The proof is in the band
4. I would bury you alive but you might come back with a knife

5. She asked me if I'd beat her. I took her back to Hyatt House....I don't want to talk about it.
6. I hope the Smoking Man's in this one!
7. Some day mother will die and I'll get the money

8. Look mummy! There's an airplane up in the sky!
9. With fingernails that shine like justice

10. All the nightmares came today

11. I thank the lord there are people out there like you

12. That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit

13. No plastic money any more

14. I'm talking to a tight red sweater, feeling like Eddie Vedder

15. You can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile

16. Who on earth do you think you are? A superstar? Well right you are!

17. Whatsammaterwitt-choo, Boy?

18. A million years of evolution, we get Danny Quail

19. Then you'll see the glass hidden in the grass

20. Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name

21. Arrest this girl her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill

22. Let me drown in your laughter

23. We live in a beautiful world
24. Little old lady got mutilated late last night

25. Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed


HA! It's NOT Just Me!

Shannon and I have an ongoing war every winter.... okay,okay! Every time it drops below 50 degrees! Sheesh! ... over the radiator in the front room. I like to be warm and comfy, and he likes to try and create an antarctic environment that would be welcoming to penguins that have gotten hopelessly lost by following the directions on MapQuest.

I now have photographic PROOF that it is TOO COLD in here when the radiator is turned off.

Here are pictures of Mere and Mu during their visit to meet Bu and Aethelred (and to see us, of course!) in January. They spent the entire weekend covered in blankets and animal skins.


It's rough being at home. The stress levels here are well above, um, dead.


Our offices are CLOSED today! Because of the ominous weather forecasts, were told as we were leaving work last night to call in after 6:30AM this morning to find out if we'd be open. Things looked pretty decent here in Lincoln Square so I started my day as usual, not allowing myself to hope for anything more then being allowed to leave early if things got bad later on today. I actually had to call the main line TWICE because I couldn't BELIEVE that I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO WORK TODAY! Oh, JOY!!!

It really has started to look nasty outside, and I'm sure it's far worse 20 miles north. Aethelred is FASCINATED by the snow blowing outside the window. He's on the windowsill trying to follow individual flakes as they descend, his head whipping about wildly. Looks a bit like a heavy metal groupie.

I have my pot of coffee, two cooooooooooooozzzzyyyy cats, a bunch of half-started blog entries to finish, three books that I'm within a chapter or two of finishing, and a jasmine plant that needs some TLC....HEEEEEEYYYY! Where's Shannon?!?!?! If you leave early, say, NOW, you'll be home by 9AM!


We Will NOT Be Ignored!!

I haven't been getting my e-mails through my main account - Yahoo.com - since Friday, February 9th. After doing some digging, I found I was far from alone. I'm not sure what the numbers are, but there's a user help site where users help other users with their issues, and the queries range from 'Mildly Concerned' - "I haven't been able to access my email since 2/9 - is it my computer?" to 'Seriously Pissed' - "WHY DOES YAHOO SUCK SO BAD?!?!?"

I don't mind being without email for a few days. What bothers me is that they are ignoring the issue and haven't released a statement saying they're working on the problem, or even a tentative "We are working on the issue and hope to have it fixed by: __/__/___" date.

MEANWHILE, they released a new "Beta" version of Yahoo! this weekend when their e-mail issues started. COINCIDENCE?!?!?? I think NOT!

I'd switch to G-mail but all my contact information is in Yahoo! Oh, dilemmas, dilemmas! What to do, what to DO?

Anyway, if you don't get a response from me to an email you've sent from this past weekend on, blame Yahoo. They suck SO bad.


It's Shiny, Orange, and Full of da SPICE!

Our pepper grinder, though totally cool, does not work all that well.
For some reason the matching salt grinder works wonderfully, but the apparatus in the pepper grinder only lets loose a few measly bits at a time. That's okay, though - I figured I was working off a coupla dozen extra calories a month shaking the thing like mad to maybe jar it into action. I did even succeed once in a while!

Then one fatefull day, I received an e-mail from cooks.com informing me that a peppermill had been designed especially for ME! by some guy named Mario Batalli. He even signed it for an extra $50 bucks!

Notice he chose only to sign the orange model? This guy's got taste!

Mario is shown below, smiling because he's holding a way cool, shiny orange peppermill! He's saying, "if you're having a bad day, all you have to do is cradle your peppermill. Grins all 'round!"

Below that pic he and demonstrates that his peppermill can be used with the touch of your fingertips. Such a contrast to the "shake-and-choke-and-curse-and-pray-and-threaten" method required by my current pepper grinder, that usually culminates in my grabbing the stale jar of McCormick's ground pepper when Shannon isn't looking.

"One clockwise click and VOILA!
My peppermill
administers the EXACTLY PRECISE amount of
pepper and orange butter honey mustard mousse to your grilled tuna steak!"

I did some checking and have found that this pepper grinder had dropped in price to $59.99!! That's three more dollars I've saved on this item I so obviously need!

Seriously, though - can anyone recommend a really decent pepper grinder? It doesn't HAVE to be orange, as long as it has a paintable surface.


What I'm Listening To Right Now

Danny Elfman!

Edward Scissorhands is coming to a theater near you!

Ahem, that's the stage kind, not the movie kind.

Matthew Bourne has brought Tim Burton's gothic fairy tale to the stage in a new
ballet, or, as Bourne calls it, "play without words." The wonderful music Danny Elfman had written for the movie will be used for the ballet, which in itself insures I'll go see it if it makes it to Chicago.

Edward Scissorhands.....Ballet.....Edward Scissorhands....Ballet.....I'm having a hard time figuring out how he's going to catch Kim during one of those flying leaps, unless they've got a whole stockpile of Kims lined up. Maybe that's why there are so few tour dates thus far..... I'm listening to the site right now. I love most of Elfman's soundtracks, but Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Beetlejuice (his rendition of Harry Belafonte's "Banana Boat Song" is a GREAT tune to run to!) are my faves.
"I AM the Pumpkin King!"

We're On A BRIDGE, Charlie!

I've received this link from several people now, even people to whom I've sent it to in the first place, which says....well, I'm sure it says something about me. Every time I receive it, even though I know what it is, and can quote it nearly as well as I can Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I'm compelled to watch it all over again.

Meet (if you haven't already) Charlie the Unicorn.

JoJo's Abbreviated Oscar Picks

Okay, I'll admit, I didn't see Babel. Or Volver. Or The Departed. Or Dreamgirls. Or The Queen.

But I DID see Little Miss Sunshine, and based on that viewing I can dismiss all other movies and motion it should win Best Picture, and that Abigail Breslin should perform her Little Miss Sunshine dance with the Dreamgirls, who should, incidentally, win Best Soundtrack.

Meet Olive. Too cute to be a beauty queen? Maybe.....but her
talent routine certainly gives Apollonia a run for the money.

We also saw Stranger Than Fiction for which Zach Helm should win Best Screenplay and Dustin Hoffman should win Best Supporting Actor. Emma Thompson was brilliant as a neurotic, chain-smoking blocked writer - possibly the best writer of her time. This story, though set in the present, could be adapted to any time with a few minor modifications to the characters - an excellent indicator of a timeless story/fable.

OH! And Will Farrell should win Best Role EVER WRITTEN for Will Farrell! He should really never take another role. EVER.

Except maybe for Elf 2. I loved him in Elf.

"First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle."

Farrell's good in a well-written modern day fable, which Stranger Than Fiction certainly is. His wardrobe is much more conservative in Stranger Than Fiction (where he plays an IRS agent), but there are just as many cookies, if not more!, than there were in Elf.

I'm not telling you any more. Go watch these two movies - Little Miss Sunshine and Stranger Than Fiction - this bitter nasty cold weekend. They are both touching and they both have wonderful laugh-out-loud moments (Little Miss Sunshine actually caused one friend to literally fall out of her chair with laughter), and Stranger Than Fiction is actually quite thought provoking.