26.2.07

Pope Against Prada Babies

Hip and trendy Roman Catholics are dismayed by a speech given in Rome this past Saturday condemning "designer babies."

"My baby CAN't wear anything but Louis Vuitton or I break out in hives!" cried Ashley Verciani of Los Angeles.


"Bergdorf. Nothing but Bergdorf." Mrs. Richard Cargill of Manhattan announced without hesitation when our reporters asked who her son Richie Jr. was spitting up on that very moment. "It's the only way I can tell my baby apart from the sea of cheap Gucci knockoffs the other nannies are pushing around the Park. If I have to fly to Rome again this year, I'll ask that little two-faced so-and-so wh
o designs HIS robes. And let me tell you something, it ain't Isaac Mizrahi."

Pope Benedict XVI wearing robes that were definitely NOT designed by
Isaac Mizrahi


SnobbyBabies.com has started inserting informative protestant leaflets into their shipping boxes.

Pope Benedict XVI has not officially addressed these concerns, but cardinals close to him report that he is "confused and alarmed" by the response. "He was talking about screening for things like birth defects and dye color before babies were born." a spokesman who asked to remain anyonymous stated over the phone. "He didn't realize how serious the problem was where parents want their babies to be born with little gold "Vs" and little "Ls" all over their bodies."

"My son, the shoes on your daughter's feet, which she will grow out of in 4 days,
can be used to restore all of England's churches to pre-reformation glory."

5 comments:

Shannon said...

Jo - I totally want a "grunge" look to any baby we have! Can we have one engineered to have a look of disinterested distain on his/her face? Please?

OrangeMoJoJo said...

I already told you, Shannon, we are not using any Billy Idol/Eddie Vedder DNA. Apparently that would make God mad.

evandebacle said...

"Can we have one engineered to have a look of disinterested distain on his/her face? Please?"

I think that last weekend demonstrated that a few short sessions with me is the most effective way to get that adorable look of disdain on any babies face.

Shannon said...

Hmmm....seems to me someone (not naming names, of course) was complaining when I hadn't blogged in 5 days. I note with passing interest your last post of 6 days ago...

Shannon said...

7 days and no blogging. Yet the Rev doesn't threaten YOU with the title of "ombudsman". Methinks I detect a double-standard!