31.5.07

Creepy Vintage Drug Ads

Last night Shannon tracked down two episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy at the wonderful (and FAR too underutilized by us "why go to a public library when you can have one of your very own?" book-buying types!) Chicago Public Library - Sulzer branch. We watched the one on medicine yesterday while munching on pizza from Apart.

Once again, as much as I love to study the middle ages and as enamored as I am wiht history, I am so thankful I live when I do. For example, did you know the first surgery performed with anesthesia was in 1842? I can't even have a minor filling filled without 4 gallons of novacaine! Can you imagine having a tumor removed with no anesthesia?



Here are some more vintage medical ads that will make you shake your head in incredulity:

7-Up once contained lithium and amphetamines....


While Coca-Cola contained cocaine.


VERY effective diet plan - if you can stomach it.












Looking at these ads from not so very long ago, I can only wonder what we're doing now that will be looked upon in horror as barbaric practice 50 years from now. At least we've moved on from doping our kids with Nembutal, but belladonna, a poison and strong hallucinogen, is still readily available in eye drop and tablet form. I had looked it up to find a vintage ad, and was more than a little shocked to find it's still widely available to the public, evidenced by the currently available products shown above and below. Belladonna is very important to the practice of medicine as atropine, a derivative of the plant, counteracts many poisons; but I fail to see (pun intended) how belladonna eye drops, aside from those used by ophthalmologists in dilating the pupil in a controlled environment for the purpose of eye examinations, should be available for general use.

Literally meaning "pretty woman," belladonna eye drops were used by women to dilate their pupils, thus making them look more beautiful and more intense. Overuse can blindness, tachycardia, and intense hallucinations.

The above photo is of an herbal or nutraceutical "medication." More and more people are using these products as they are marketed as more safe, more natural than pharmaceuticals approved by the FDA. I am not trying to demonize the nutraceutical industry - there is great benefit to be found there (look at glucosamine/chondroitin!). I just ask that you please Know. What. You. Are. Ingesting. Talk to a pharmacist if you have questions - they're teaching this stuff in pharmacy programs now. If you are taking prescription medications, it is IMPERATIVE that you speak with a pharmacist before taking herbal remedies. Some of the remedies may interact with your medications, just like another prescription could. Some actually intensify your current prescriptions, making your once controlled regimen suddenly dangerousor ineffective. Since they are not subject to FDA approval, there is not always a consistent dose. You could be getting more or less of an hearbal than what you think you are. Another example of a potentially dangerous herbal: ma huang has been used in place of ephedrine (which was taken off the market) by hopeful dieters, causing several deaths. Some people can't take ephedra - their hearts can't take it. Kava kava may cause liver toxicity. St. John's wort may cause little effect in one person, a calming effect in another, and yet can cause a third to go absolutely batty. Again, just because it's herbal, it's NOT NECESSARILY SAFE FOR YOU. Please be careful, and again, know what you are taking.

That goes for your prescription drugs, too, by the way. Know what a normal side effect as opposed to an abnormal one. Do NOT dismiss your concerns in the face of a dismissive doctor. Do not take ANYTHING when you are taking Coumadin, warfarin, or Heparin without talking to your doctor AND your pharmacist. And if you have more than one doctor or go to more than one pharmacy, inform them of eachother so you are not inadvertantly prescribed two similar medications.

For LaLa

For Mu

30.5.07

Peg Legs Bou!

Aethelred had some pretty big words to say about Bou after getting all high on all things pirate on Monday.

"Well I do wear a big girl's blouse, so I guess that's true," she said, "but I really hate it when that pathetic little excuse for cabin boy steals my treats! No matter though. I'm just biding my time. You see, I have a plan. First, I'm going to cozy up to him so he thinks I really do consider him cap'n of the bipeds' lair. That's the easy bit. He thinks he's sooooooooooooooooooooo cute, and that may be. But I. Am immune. To cute."


"I had the idea about a year ago, when Pirates of the Caribbean II came out, and I've been carefully plotting ever since. Every second that little powder monkey is up front entertaining the bipeds with his cuteness, I'm plotting a mutiny. I have spent every spare minute in the ferret cage trying to prove to them that I was one of them: a stinky, spastic, fun-loving, heathen of a ferret, and that we were in this together. He was too busy being cute to pay any mind to his crew, and that will prove to be his downfall!"


"Ha. Ha ha. Hahahaha! HAHA! MWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahe *heheckheckheckHORK!!!* Stupid hair balls!"


"My plan is almost complete. I've taught Umberto, who insists on being called "Grace O'Malley" how to free himself of the cage Aethelred's imprisoned them in. I only hope Umber, erm, Grace, can wait until the appointed time. Ferrets are not long on patience."


"It took me all morning, but I've sawed off my front legs so the purple-headed orange-clad biped takes pity on me and brings me out for a "walk" in one of those ridiculous pet strollers. Seriously, I wish she'd freaking have a kid already. I can only stomach so much coddleing. Anyway, while I'm out, Umberto-Grace and Max (who, by the way, insists on being called "Max") will have carried out my plan. I hope."


"I also hope that UPS gets here with my peg-legs before the bipeds get home, or they'll know that's something's apaw!"

24.5.07

Movies Taken Over By Commercial Pirates!

Shannon and I went to see a matinee of Pirates of the Caribbean 3, At World's End yesterday. The movie was really fun! (see Aethelred's review here) The second one is still my favorite of the three, but seeing Keira Knightly kick some ass was really a treat. And they ditched her Brittany-before-she-shaved-her-head look that was so believeable in Pirates 2 for a look more worthy of her ass-kicking-ability that she'd trained for so hard in Bend It Like Beckham. Well done, Disney!

from:

to:


Unfortunately, Disney didn't do so well with the only other chick in the film, Tia Dalma. She was a sultry, powerful, enigmatic figure in Pirates 2, and had a bigger role (pun intended) in Pirates 3, but they totally dropped the ball with her character at the end. I won't give it away, but they wasted alot of hype on her only to blow it in a huge "so....that's IT???" kinda way. Lame. Lame lame lame.

What was even MORE lame were the commercials before the movie. You pay 9 bucks* to see a few previews and a movie, not to see crappy commercials, moronic Fandango puppets, previews and a movie! That's why you're not sitting at home watching the movie. At home on your tellie there are commercials. In the theater there are to be NO commercials - because you paid NINE BUCKS*!!! A few previews are cool, the 7 CRAPPY previews we saw NOT cool. It almost got to the point where we'd almost forgotten why were were in the theater and considered going home. If the movie we were there to see was half as aweful as these previews, we started thinking to ourselves....

All's I'm saying is it's a good thing Disney's making all kindsa money on Pirates so they can go and blow it all on the stretch of losers they have coming out this summer!

But the icing.

On the cake.

Was having to sit.

Through.

This.




Pirates 3 was excellent on the big screen and the effects were amazing. Just make sure to arrive 15 minutes after the posted "start" time so whoever this bimbo is won't be stuck in your head singing about wantin' to have your babies. And the guy next to you - she wants to have his babies, too. And the guy she saw driving a bus once. And the guy behind the counter at Starbucks, she wants his babies, too. If they had babies together they'd be TOTALLY cute. And the taxi driver who brought her from the airport. She also wants to have babies with the guy across the street walking the other direction talking on his cell phone. He had a nice jaw. His babies would be super-cute! And that skateboarder over there! If they had babies together, they'd be indestructible!

Thank God for Netflix.

*we actually, THANKFULLY, didn't pay a cent because we had free passes from when we went to see Breach and the sound died.

For Momster and Papa Schuetter

Just because every time I hear this song I think of you.

(You can ignore the video - it's pretty bizarre! Just hit "play" and listen to the song (o:):



Here are the lyrics so you can sing along ("nanananananana's" removed):

You've been so kind and generous,
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound,
I'm bound to thank you for it

You've been so kind and generous,
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound,
I'm bound to thank you for it

Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave with love and tenderness,
I want to thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity, the love and the honesty that you gave me
I want to thank you, show my gratitude, my love and my respect for you,
I want to thank you

Oh I want to thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you......


I love you, Mom & Dad!

18.5.07

Bou-tie, No-Legs Kittie!

"Carry me!"

Seems to me Ms. Bou (note correct spelling, StealthPharmacist!) is warming to the idea of being pushed around in a Kittie Pram! Look how she's hiding all four of her legs as if to say, "I can't walk! Help me! Carry me! Buy me a cool ORANGE!!! deluxe kitty stroller with a cup holder on the left side of push bar for my MommyBiped's venti skim raspberry mocha and push me round Lincoln Square! Take me to the park! Get me the hell away from Aethelred! PLEASE!!!!"

This would be the approximate colour stroller Bou is looking for, but it would need to be enclosed so if her feet magically do grow back, she can't claw the hell out of Mommy Biped. I'm thinking, like, maybe the enclosure could be made from the material shark cages are made from, but with the slats a wee bit closer together.


Catwalker

No, this entry is not a new book by Tony Hillerman, although Skinwalkers did begin with Jimmy Chee being awakened by his cat.

This picture was taken in Central Park on Sunday, May 6, 2007 (sorry for the blurriness!):

The black fuzzy blob at right is, indeed, a cat on a leash.

The cat's owner saw me taking pictures and chatted with us for a few minutes. Turns out his kitty had been terrified of being brought outside at first, but, though she's still shy, she now loves exploring her surroundings. The bush she's heading for had some of the prettiest-smelling flowers I've ever encountered.

I totally want to train Bu to go on walks with me!

Bu's response? She locked herself in the ferret cage and sat on Umberto, trying to trick me into believing she was a ferret. It took me a few days, but I caught on, by gory!

Central Paaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!rk

Central Park is one of the most brilliant city plans ever. Located in the heart of Manhattan, it's a HUGE expanse of green full or trees and baseball diamonds - even a zoo! - that feels miles away from the city (though you can ALWAYS hear the traffic, no matter where you are!) I was disappointed not to spot any uniformed au pairs while we were there. The last time I went they were all over the park. It was kind of surreal. Talk about living in different worlds!

Daugher of multimillionaire upper-ease-side parents being taught physics in Central Park:


My high school physics instructors:


Contrary to popular belief, I didn't find New Yorkers rude at all. Hurried, yes. Abrupt, maybe, and what's with the CONSTANT HONKING??, but not rude. It could be all of the training I've gotten RaNDMing for hours on end with Shannon, but I found it easy to keep pace with them. They are a fast-walking people! I even outpaced some - especially the businesswomen in 4" heels (businesswomen in heels < 4" outpaced me easily), and gaggles of giggling girls, yeegads!! Their ceaseless hyper-chatter gave me incentive to move my butt. "OMG!!! YOU KNOW THE WORST PICKUP LINE I'VE EVER HEAR????" "OMG! WHAT???" "OMG!!!! HE SAID.." "OMG, I BET THE WORST ONE I'VE EVER HEARD IS WAY WORSE!!!!" "OMG, NO WAY!!! SO ANYWAY, HE SAID, LIKE" "OMG! IS THIS THE SAME GUY WHO WAS WEARING THAT GROSS SHIRT???!!!" *gigglegigglegiggle!!!* "OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REMEMBER THAT!!! SO HE SAID" "OMG, HE WAS CUTE UNTIL HE OPENED HIS MOUTH!!!" "OMG, RIGHT???"

Shoot me. It took me four blocks to lose them, and I never did hear the "worst pickup line EVER!!!!"

I totally want to get one of these for Bu, now, in orange, of course!

I don't know if they make strollers big enough for Bu - she's about two of this cat.

Not That I NEED to Post Pics of Boobs To Sell My Blog...

This is one of Matt("blogger formerly known as Mugsy")'s avatars. He wouldn't tell me where he found it, so I had to type in "meat bra" to find it! (HINT! Do NOT type in "bra meat" at work. I'm just sayin. You think THIS is bad....*shudder*) ANYWAY, I just HAD to find this picture for Peepster! That's the kinda friend I am.




Oh, and Peepster, for the record: My husband is hotter than meat on boobs.

17.5.07

For Butternugget!

Thanks to Mu to introducing me to this Dr. Who spoof!

OrangeBlog presents:


The Curse of the Fatal Death!





BONUS! Orbital's version of Dr. Who Theme Song
(start at about 1:04)



Happy Friday!!

On the Irony!

As you can see, I'm trying to make up for the silence of the past coupla two-tree weeks. I'm sorry I haven't posted anything since before NY! I'll have some NY stuff for you soon, but I wanted to clear some of the quicker bloglets out first. Like this one!


As much as I love the color orange, I'm not terribly fond of the taste, so trying the new Starbucks Orange Mocha isn't high on my list of stuff to do. I imagine it tastes very sweet and syrupy, UNLIKE my favorite mocha of all time: The Dante at Cafe Express in Evanston. They make a mocha and squeeze halfuva mandarin orange into it. YUM!!!!

I'm not interested in trying Green and Black's Organic Chocolate & Orange ice cream, either, but if anyone wants to eat a pint and send me the empty (preferably clean) container, I'd totally use it to hide my stuff!

16.5.07

Putting the "CLASS!" Back in Class Action!

It takes alot for a divorce lawyer to be referred to as "disgusting" and "unconscionable" by her peers, but Corrie Fetman is basking in the glow of this "praise," considering it poorly veiled envy.

She used my friend Unethical Marketing to try and drum up business for her firm. Well, she certainly caught the attention of not only local Chicagoans, but the world with her inspired ad.

"Law firm advertising is boring…Everything's always the same. It's lawyers in libraries with a suit on and the law books behind them. They don't say anything. What, I should hire you because you have a law degree? C'mon. So we wanted to try something different."

Here's the "different" ad she came up with and had put up near Viagra Triangle near Chicago's Gold Coast:

Sooooooooooo......divorce is funny and cute and trivial and marriage should be taken lightly? As if divorce lawyers didn't have a bad enough name as it is! She's upped the bar! (pun intended)

It's been taken down since this photo was taken. Not by Fetman and associates, but by Chicago city workers.

Needless to say, Ms. Fetman describes herself as "happily divorced."

11.5.07

If You're Not In, You're OUT!

Apparently Pope Benedict XVI would like to see me excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

"According to church law, those who play a material role in an abortion should not receive the sacrament of holy communion. In effect, they have automatically excommunicated themselves from sharing in communion."

I've donated money to keep abortions safe and legal, I've insured the safe passage of women into Planned Parenthood offices, and I will continue to do anything I can to keep abortions safe and legal despite the warnings concerning my eternal soul by the former prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (the branch of the Church formerly known as The Inquisition), Pope Benedict XVI.

There's a really good NY Times article on Benedict XVI (from April 11, 2007) here.

I can't say as being excommunicated would effect me much, unless Benedict XVI (it's taking all of my willpower not to write "Ratszie," btw) decides to start another crusade starting with the excommunicated. I don't really believe much of the dogma of Catholicism. I don't believe in heaven or hell, so the fear of eternal damnation isn't effective on me, and that's what is what is supposed to keep me in line. I don't believe Jesus was actually the son of God, I don't believe Mary was a virgin, I don't believe the host and wine transubstantiate into blood and flesh, I haven't taken communion in I don't know HOW long, I certainly don't believe the Pope is infallible, and I don't believe Jesus would approve of all the pomp, wealth, and vainglory of the Catholic church, much less the violence committed throughout history in Her name.

I'm a pretty crappy example of a Catholic, really.

However, I was baptized Catholic (and "once a Catholic, always a Catholic..."), I was raised Catholic, my parents were both Catholic. THEIR parents were Catholic. My grandparents left the Old Country because they were Catholic and Hitler made them uneasy, I love churches - especially gothic cathedrals (although the nouveau Coventry Cathedral is pretty amazing), I believe Jesus may have been the singlemost wonderful and loving human being to have ever lived, I love the sound of a mass in Latin, I believe people should treat each other with kindness and understanding, I know I'm not perfect and never can be, but that doesn't mean I can't continue to strive to be so until the day I die; and I think the Church has done a lot of good where secular government has fallen short, ie: making humanitarian efforts because it is right and good to do so, not for political gain. But, just like any human being, the Church has failings and is imperfect.

But I digress.

So back to Benedict's condemnation of people who've had abortions and those of us who support them. I'll never agree that a woman who has been raped should have to carry to term if she chooses not to. And as long as there is rape, I'll NEVER agree that a woman will have to prove that she was raped before attaining an abortion. OMG the idea...it makes me physically sick. Therefore, abortions should be safe and legal in all cases. Why a woman chooses not to carry to term is none of my business, nor is it anyone else's. She has her reasons, and, contrary to what some believe, choosing abortion is NOT an easy choice. It's not like, "Hey, I think I'll go get those cute shoes I saw in the window of Payless, then get an abortion because I don't want to get fat." And, if that is the woman's reason, she really shouldn't be having kids anyway, but sterilization of the stupid is another blog entry altogether.

So, Ratzing, er, Benedict, you and I will never see eye to eye on this issue. I realize that you are trying to reestablish the power of the Church and are fighting the widespread secularization that has occurred over the last 75 years, but throwing the word "excommunication" around doesn't have the same clout it once did. We aren't living in the middle ages anymore. John Paul II acted the well-played role of shepherd and diplomat and was extremely well-loved. Though you don't seem to care to be loved, you would do well to refrain from losing even more Catholics around the world by living in this century.

PS: I LIKE hearing Cat Stevens pouring from the windows of the Spanish-speaking church around the corner on Sunday mornings. I don't think the congregation speaks much English, but they have Morning Has Broken nailed, and Morning Has Broken is far more moving, IMO, than And Art Thou Come With Us To Dwell.

2.5.07

Rash of Celebrity Arrests!

Hugh Grant was arrested for tossing beans on the paparazzi.
Brazilian bean farmers are burning effigies in protest.

So, Yes! I hate being stalked and harassed 24 hours a day. You caught me.

Richard Gere is wanted in India where he faces up to three months in jail for smooching Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty.
Several effigies of him have been burned in India (this effigy burning's for serious).

"I think I'll just sit here sip my mocha until this thing blows over."

Boy George was arrested for kidnapping and imprisonment. He'd invited a 28-year-old man to come over and pose for photographs, but when the man arrived, George and another man grabbed him and chained him up.

Suddenly the lyrics to "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" take on a whole new meaning...

Finally, World's Cutest Kitten Aethelred was spritzed this morning when he jumped up on the kitchen counter after several stern warnings.

"Get that camera outta my FACE, Biped, or I'm going to go totally Sean Penn on your ass!"



Jesse White Updates His Webbernet Site!

CONGRATULATIONS to the State of Illinois for updating their license plate search engine! I remember back in the day when I had to fill out a form with my three top choices and mail it in, then wait a month or so to hear back to find that I really wasn't all that original - all three of my plates had already been taken, so I had to start all over again and hope that I wasn't repeating a query on a plate I'd submitted already in a previous mailing.

Now it takes only seconds!

Hmmmm...could be a problem, though. I mean, what if you decide to get "UBRBTCH," then change your mind week later, having attended a course on personal development where you discovered you were really a kind and sensitive, gentle girly-girl? It's like getting a tattoo then changing your mind - just as expensive, but less permanent, and not nearly as painful. So I guess it's not really like getting a tattoo at all....

Let's see.....

"BDR 529" is already taken. DRAT! So is "ORNGWHP." BASTARDS! hmmmm... "BASTRDS" is available! Awesome!

BDR 529

1.5.07

Congratulations Kevin and LaLa Bloss!!

Laura, Kevin and Mastadon

I had the distinct honor of standing up for my friend Laura's wedding on Sunday. Thanks to Shannon for taking pictures!! (he stopped after the ceremony and before the reception when he got down to 88 photos left....

There were about 500 when he'd started shooting.)

It was a GORGEOUS day!! The only glitch occurred when wedding party started down the aisle to the sound of ABBA's "Dancing Queen." The music started skipping! Thinking quickly, Karma thought up the most effective distraction she possibly could...

She pooped!

Good Karma!! (o;

While snapping away after the wedding, Shannon commented that Laura has a really beautiful, natural smile.

She really does!

Is that a 'too....? Brides with 'toos ROCK!

The reverend who presided did a really nice job incorporating his own words with the couples' personalized requests. He was enthusiastic and excited throughout the ceremony. Weddings are definitely his favorite part of the job!


After the ceremony Laura and Kevin were introduced as HUSBAND AND WIFE!! WOOHOO!! as they walked back up the aisle to ABBA's "I Do."

MEET THE BLOSS'S:
Kevin, Laura, Karma, and Fernando
(why yes! He IS named after the ABBA song! (o:)


The reception was lovely, the people we sat with were way cool and very fun, and the food was awesome.

Last check, Laura hadn't taken off her dress yet. She was doing dishes in it after the wedding.

She MAY be wearing it still yet....

Partners in business....


To partners for life!


CONGRATULATIONS, KEVIN AND LALA BLOSS!!!

Oh, Yes Thou SHALT Suffer A Witch To Live!

Thou shalt suffer him or her to die with dignity, too!



"The department of veteran's affairs has agreed to add the Wiccan pentacle to the approved list of approved religious symbols that it will engrave on veterans' headstones." This decision came after several Wiccan widows had sued when their requests for Wiccan symbols on their spouses' headstones - spouses who had fought and died for their country in Afghanistan and Iraq as Wiccans. They cited religious discrimination for the previous repeated denials. The ACLU gave its support and filed the lawsuit on behalf of Wiccan families and clergy after having refused to do so since the mid-90s.

In 1999 when Shrubbie was still governor of TX, he was asked about the controversy over Wiccan soldiers being given equal rights including the right to worship freely at Fort Hood, TX. He responded “I don’t think witchcraft is a religion. I would hope the military officials would take a second look at the decision they made.” Until now, Wiccans were able enlist in the armed services as Wiccans, and since 1999 they were allowed to practice their religion, but they were not allowed to be recognized as Wiccan after they died in service to their country.


There are 1800 Wiccans enlisted in the armed forces. They are fighting, and dying, in service to their country. They deserve this respect and recognition.

I attended several Wiccan services in the past, and though I still have a hard time identifying myself with any organized religion, I was seriously drawn to Wicca because of their one 8-word piece of dogma - the Wiccan Rede:

"An it harm none, do what ye will."

This Golden Rule was familiar to me from my Catholic upbringing, but every religion has a version:

“Whatever is hurtful to you, do not do to any other person.”
-Tobit 4:15

“All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.”
-Matthew, 7:12

"If only people could leave people the hell alone."
-JoJo, 4.1.07

Baruch Spinoza, a metaphysical philosopher who believed God was everywhere ("Whatsoever is, is in God, and without God nothing can be, or be conceived.") and who for this reason stole Aristotle's line of "Nature abhors a vacuum" to define his one philosophy (ie: there can't be NOTHING - what appears to be empty space is, in reality, filled by God), once said:

"As men's habits of mind differ, so that some more readily embrace one form of faith, some another, for what moves one to pray may move another to scoff, I conclude... that everyone should be free to choose for himself the foundations of his creed, and that faith should be judged only by its fruits."

Shrubbie probably doesn't know Spinoza, probably can't even prounounce or spell his name, so he can dismiss that quote (though the first syllable of Baruch's surname, "spin" is certainly familiar to Shrub - his administration is spinning the outcome of this case to make it look like they had a hand in the decision to add the Wiccan symbol to the "approved!" list, those benevolent do-gooders!).

Here, on the other hand, is a quote from a document Shrub might be somewhat familiar with - not because he believes in it, but because it keeps getting in his way, the pesky thing:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
- First ammendment to the Bill of Rights


Blessed be.