24.5.07

Movies Taken Over By Commercial Pirates!

Shannon and I went to see a matinee of Pirates of the Caribbean 3, At World's End yesterday. The movie was really fun! (see Aethelred's review here) The second one is still my favorite of the three, but seeing Keira Knightly kick some ass was really a treat. And they ditched her Brittany-before-she-shaved-her-head look that was so believeable in Pirates 2 for a look more worthy of her ass-kicking-ability that she'd trained for so hard in Bend It Like Beckham. Well done, Disney!

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Unfortunately, Disney didn't do so well with the only other chick in the film, Tia Dalma. She was a sultry, powerful, enigmatic figure in Pirates 2, and had a bigger role (pun intended) in Pirates 3, but they totally dropped the ball with her character at the end. I won't give it away, but they wasted alot of hype on her only to blow it in a huge "so....that's IT???" kinda way. Lame. Lame lame lame.

What was even MORE lame were the commercials before the movie. You pay 9 bucks* to see a few previews and a movie, not to see crappy commercials, moronic Fandango puppets, previews and a movie! That's why you're not sitting at home watching the movie. At home on your tellie there are commercials. In the theater there are to be NO commercials - because you paid NINE BUCKS*!!! A few previews are cool, the 7 CRAPPY previews we saw NOT cool. It almost got to the point where we'd almost forgotten why were were in the theater and considered going home. If the movie we were there to see was half as aweful as these previews, we started thinking to ourselves....

All's I'm saying is it's a good thing Disney's making all kindsa money on Pirates so they can go and blow it all on the stretch of losers they have coming out this summer!

But the icing.

On the cake.

Was having to sit.

Through.

This.




Pirates 3 was excellent on the big screen and the effects were amazing. Just make sure to arrive 15 minutes after the posted "start" time so whoever this bimbo is won't be stuck in your head singing about wantin' to have your babies. And the guy next to you - she wants to have his babies, too. And the guy she saw driving a bus once. And the guy behind the counter at Starbucks, she wants his babies, too. If they had babies together they'd be TOTALLY cute. And the taxi driver who brought her from the airport. She also wants to have babies with the guy across the street walking the other direction talking on his cell phone. He had a nice jaw. His babies would be super-cute! And that skateboarder over there! If they had babies together, they'd be indestructible!

Thank God for Netflix.

*we actually, THANKFULLY, didn't pay a cent because we had free passes from when we went to see Breach and the sound died.

7 comments:

Shannon said...

Oh my GOSH, Jo - c'mon! "I wanna have your babies' isn't just the cutting-edge genius of a brilliant musician, but a huge step forward in the image of women as something other than professional, intelligent, hard-working equal members of our society!

Best part of the movie experience, obviously!

Rev Transit said...

You guys are being way too hard on her. First of all, she has great taste in boyfriends. Mmm-mmm-mmm. And, secondly, if she has their children serially, she'll give birth to a family of Spice Girls.

Rev Transit said...

Also, Docfilms is $5 and no commercials-- maybe a couple movie trailers.

Mu said...

EEEEEEEwwwwwwwww!

I'd MUCH rather hear The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins. Never thought I would say THAT.

Mu said...

I'm assuming the $1 theater will spare me the "bonus extras."

OrangeMoJoJo said...

I love the Doc, but I'd certainly make up the extra 4 bucks in gas, and at an AMC theater you can bring in treats that you can conveniently purchase in the lobby for half a month's wages! No food in the Doc!

Thank you, Mu, for putting Bilbo Baggins in my head, where it will undoubtedly remain. For the next. 10. Dyas. This, sir, is for you:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04

OrangeMoJoJo said...

Shannon, I guess I'm just in denial over the fact that I'm 35 and I have not fulfilled my purpose. I should have at least 15 kids by now! Thank you, Natasha Bedingfield for showing me that the real reason we have 2 cats and 2 ferrets is because I really want at least 4 babies.