Unfortunately, Disney didn't do so well with the only other chick in the film, Tia Dalma. She was a sultry, powerful, enigmatic figure in Pirates 2, and had a bigger role (pun intended) in Pirates 3, but they totally dropped the ball with her character at the end. I won't give it away, but they wasted alot of hype on her only to blow it in a huge "so....that's IT???" kinda way. Lame. Lame lame lame.
What was even MORE lame were the commercials before the movie. You pay 9 bucks* to see a few previews and a movie, not to see crappy commercials, moronic Fandango puppets, previews and a movie! That's why you're not sitting at home watching the movie. At home on your tellie there are commercials. In the theater there are to be NO commercials - because you paid NINE BUCKS*!!! A few previews are cool, the 7 CRAPPY previews we saw NOT cool. It almost got to the point where we'd almost forgotten why were were in the theater and considered going home. If the movie we were there to see was half as aweful as these previews, we started thinking to ourselves....
All's I'm saying is it's a good thing Disney's making all kindsa money on Pirates so they can go and blow it all on the stretch of losers they have coming out this summer!
But the icing.
On the cake.
Was having to sit.
Pirates 3 was excellent on the big screen and the effects were amazing. Just make sure to arrive 15 minutes after the posted "start" time so whoever this bimbo is won't be stuck in your head singing about wantin' to have your babies. And the guy next to you - she wants to have his babies, too. And the guy she saw driving a bus once. And the guy behind the counter at Starbucks, she wants his babies, too. If they had babies together they'd be TOTALLY cute. And the taxi driver who brought her from the airport. She also wants to have babies with the guy across the street walking the other direction talking on his cell phone. He had a nice jaw. His babies would be super-cute! And that skateboarder over there! If they had babies together, they'd be indestructible!
Thank God for Netflix.
*we actually, THANKFULLY, didn't pay a cent because we had free passes from when we went to see Breach and the sound died.