14.6.07

Lincoln Ave: Stretch of Creepiness

Sometimes the cell phone camera is really kinda handy.

Shannon and I walk. A LOT. For miles and miles. We average about 1-2 hours on weeknights, and 7-9 miles on weekends. We call in "RanDoMing" (RiordanDeath-Marching).

Thing is, we don't drive to places and walk from there, we start from our apartment, head off in a, yes, random direction, and continue to walk forward until one of us says, "I can't remember where we live from here, and it's getting dark."

I'm going to start bringing my cell phone or digital camera with me so I can shoot pictures of, you know, stuff. As the Beckster can tell you, I have an eye for weird stuff. Weird in that it's a wonder why, exactly, I thought to photograph it....?

This is a mini-test. Here we're heading south-east, "strolling the hypoteneuse," on Lincoln Ave. towards the Whole Foods at Lincoln Ave., School, and Ashland.

First, we have the world's most poorly-named hot dog joint: Mangi's.



Mangi's. Brings to mind dirty, stinky, unhealthy dogs. Let's just say, after passing this place about 200 times, the only thing that got me to walk through the door was the fact that if I was dying of a thirst so bad I couldn't make it to the Trader Joe's across the street. Their Diet Coke was cheap and it comes in a hugungous styrofoam container, reminiscent of a 7-11 Big Gulp. Their fries were only okay, and Shannon didn't have much to say about their shakes, but again, very cheap. I hear they have good hot dogs, but since neither of us eats hot dogs, maybe Peepster About Town can report on that.

Speaking of Peepster, he was the first to report on this window at Be By Baby, about a year ago. Since then, there was only one time where we walked by to find a head on the "mother" mannequin. I can't tell you exactly why I find this display so incredibly disturbing, but Every. Single. Time we pass it, I shudder. It creeps me out. Like, there is no woman, only a baby parasite factory that exists to feed babies. Every time we pass it I make a pretty loud obnoxious comment about "HOW CREEPY AND DISTURBING IT IS!!! IT'S CREEPY!!!! HIRE A NEW DISPLAY ARTIST!!!!! THE ONE YOU HAVE IS A HACK!!!! I'LL DO IT FOR FREE!!!!! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TURN THE BABY TO FACE THE WINDOW AND IT WILL GO FROM 'CREEPY!!!!' TO 'CUTE!!!!!' THE BABY LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF TRENDY PARASITE!!!!!! CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-PYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

Shannon has been a saint in putting up with my outbursts, but I DO notice that we never walk past this store on the way back home.....

CREEEEEPYYYYYY!!! And not only because of the clashing stripes/polka dots motif.

3 comments:

Shannon said...

The stretch of creepy is more than offset by the presence of Dinkel's. Perhaps the creepy is a test, to see who is worthy to eat the best cupcake in Chicago...

evandebacle said...

Is there a difference between "strolling the hypoteneuse" and "rocking the hypoteneuse?"

OrangeMoJoJo said...

"strolling the hypoteneuse" is travelling it with no time constraints or particular destination. "Rocking the hypoteneuse" is using the hypoteneuse to your advantage by taking the shortest route possible in order to get somewhere as quickly as you can because, say, for example, you told a bunch of Buttresses you'd be there 15 minutes ago...