It's Only Forever, Not Long At All*

So Shannon and I were off on a Thursday afternoon (two weeks ago) so we decided to walk 5 miles for a loaf of bread.

As we do.

We went to The Austrian Bakery on Clark. Since stupid Delicatessen Meyer closed in the middle of the night one day unexpectedly a'la Miegs Field - COINCIDENCE???? - we haven't had good German rye bread. So we decided to RanDoM down Clark Ave. for a mile.

Or five.

On the way we passed the Century Landmark Theater and found out they were playing Labyrinth. (Not to be confused with Pan's Labyrinth, which was truly an excellent film but very very dark. And very very sad. I spent 5 minutes after the end sobbing, no joke.)

We decided to go the next day (Friday, July 20) for the matinee showing at 2:15. Over a campfire mocha - extra marshmallows (me) and hot cocoa - hold the marshmallows (Shannon) at Caribou Coffee, we made our plans on how to spend the next 23 hours before the film started, and had the following conversation:

Shannon -"I didn't get Labyrinth. I mean, it was alright, but it really wasn't that great. Is it just about David Bowie being hot or something?"

Me - "Oh, yes. Most definitely."

Shannon - "Ah!"

Me - "Uh, and Jennifer Connelly is in it, too! She's hot, right?"

Shannon - "She's WAY too young in that movie."

Me - "Oh, I mean, uh, there was something to the story as well! Yeah! It's a pretty good story for girls! Teaches a good lesson! "Stay away from the bad boys. Just because they're totally hot and are totally into you..." wait, maybe I didn't get the point. And her brother? Toby? Ugliest baby I've ever seen. Seriously. It's a good thing I wasn't cast in that role or I'da totally run off with The Goblin King."

Methinks Toby woulda been cuter as a goblin. Couldn't a hurt!

Shannon - "I.....see."

I have married a very wonderful, amazing and patient man.

Despite this conversation, we RanDoM'd back to the theater the next day, only to find Labyrinth was GONE! It had rotated out late Thursday night, which hadn't even occurred to us. If _I_ had a theater, Labyrinth would be playing on one screen at least once every weekend, like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Maybe those two cult classics could share a screen - Labyrinth at 8PM and Rocky Horror Picture Show at Midnight, every Saturday night. Would give me a week to clean up the toast from the previous show! And audience members will get a discount or a two-for-one viewing. After the Show they can debate over who had the better makeup - David Bowie as Jareth or Tim Curry as Frankenfurter!

"HA! No contest. I look FAR better in pearls!
'Come up to the lab,
And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici...pation.'"



Shannon said...

Okay, okay. I can understand my wife's obsession with Bowie. But sorry Love - if you ever come across Bowie in a hot tub, you can't jump in, no matter how many songs about Templars he croons to you.

Butternugget said...

I would totally support a weekly midnight showing of Labyrinth. It's perfect for it and kind of shocking it isn't already being done. It has plenty of songs (very good catchy ones I might add) and tons of times where characters say rhetorical type things and dialog that begs for someone to shot out a snappy comeback. And yes, costumes would also be great.

However, I have one beef, there IS more to the movie than just Mr. Bowie. Jim Henson's creations were/are always fantastic and I especially love it when they were of the monster/goblin/dark creature type as they are in Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal.

I have one other comment but it falls dangerously close to TMI so I'll save that for an in person situation.

OrangeMoJoJo said...

I agree - there wouldn't be a story without the creatures, but I can't thank you enough for reminding me about Didymus *shakes fist*. Don't tell Bowie, but of the two movies, I really loved the creations in Dark Crystal more, but the Skekses NEVER break into song. Well, except for that one long "OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM," but it's so tuneless compared to "Magic Dance" (which, incidentally, is on my iPod.)