How MUCH Do You Want To Bet You Didn't Spend Your Day Off The Way I Did?

I get July 3rd AND 4th off from work (nee-ner-nee-ner-NEEEEEEE-NEEEERRRR!!!) so I spent it futzing about at home then wandering the Square. I was pretty sure Shannon wouldn't mind missing out on my spending 45 minutes trying on fitness bras at Fleet Feet followed by lunch at a Greek restaurant, so I did both.

I headed out around noon after rearranging stuff (a habit I picked up from my mom) and struck straight for Bloom studio. I THOUGHT the Yoga 1 class started at 12:30, but, alas, it had started at noon. BLAST! I signed myself up for the Yoga 101 class while I was there, so the trip wasn't a total loss. Then I went to Ruff Haus, our local independent pet store, and chatted with the owner about how to best de-fluff Bou. I came out with a Furminator which he assures will provide me with hours of de-furrifying fun. I interpret "fun" to mean "sweaty, allergy-inducing, fur-flying, Bou-torturing work."

Then I was off to Fleet Feet. It is VERY rare that I ever find myself in a "trying on clothes" shopping kinda mood. In general, spending 10 minutes in a fitting room is akin to spending 45 minutes having my skin flayed. I like the "go thrifting, try everything on at home, then redonate 98% of the stuff you'd just bought (especially pants)" approach to shopping. It works for me. But I found I was in a mellow, "what the heck, let's get this over with" kinda mood so I went with it before it passed.

I got to Fleet Feet, was greeted promptly, and found what I was looking for within a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, what I was looking for wasn't what actually fit me, but it was a start. I head to the fitting rooms with about 9 sports bras in hand, and there's a really aggressive employee trying to sell the Mizuno Wave Rider to a customer. But it wasn't an employee trying to sell this guy on Mizuno - it was Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. It was truly surreal! I saw him and exclaimed "BLAGO!" before I even knew what the hell was happening. (This was BEFORE the one glass of Retsina I allowed myself at Barba Yianni Grecian Taverna for lunch, mind you. I admittedly was loopy-manic from low blood sugar - it was going on 1:00 and I hadn't eaten a thing all day.) He seemed totally unfazed, greeted me with a smile, and answered his cell phone, which had just gone off.

For the next 1o minutes or so I was in a changing room trying on sports bras in a little changing room with the governor of Illinois standing outside on his cell phone. I'd say "AWKWARD!" if it wasn't so hilarious. (My thoughts of yelling "Hey! Blago! Could you grab me a Champion Master Masher Uniboob in a 38D? In pink!" while throwing one of the ones I'd tried on over the top of the door at him truly weren't helping.) I am pretty sure he was aware of my presence because at one point he said very loudly "SO WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THESE GAS PRICES? CAN WE BRING THEM DOWN A LITTLE?" I found the whole thing so insanely funny and had to take a couple of minutes to compose myself before exiting the changing room to see if they had those cute Seguro shorts in a size larger. They didn't. Alas! So I checked out and went for some very tasty chicken souvlaki at Barba Yianni.

I was still smiling a little into my Retsina at Barba Yianni, but the food helped settle the gigglefits.

After lunch I ran into Merz Apothecary for a new toothbrush. It took me less than two minutes to find what I wanted, but I arrived at the line at the same time as two women who had baskets FULL of stuff. Of course, neither of them offered to let me go ahead of them, so I got to wait for them to check out. They appeared to have been in some kind of competition to see who had spent the most in the least amount of time (not a difficult feat, I'll admit, to spend major cashola at Merz!) and I got stuck behind the winner: $375.40! WOOHOO! And then she forgot to get out her credit card....And THEN she wanted the lavender and not the sage.... And THEN she wanted to know what each and every little pot and potion was around the register (for those of you who have been to Merz, you know there are about 17,000 little pots and potions scattered around the register,) ....and THEN she had to tell the cashier how her daughter was prematurely aging, poor thing. Her daughter was standing next to her. I think she was about 11...? Or she was actually 27 and she looked 11 because her mom had been concerned about her "premature aging" since she was about 2 months of age.

It took the cashier about 15 minutes to ring her up, and to find the exact bags she wanted as they'd just run out of the largest paper handle bags and had to send an employee to the basement to restock their supply up at the registers. I honestly had nowhere to be and I found this a fantastic character study - the woman clueless to the fact that there's a line of about 12 people behind her and the staff trying hard to remain calm and gracious as she had spent a LOT of money in their store - so I didn't mind waiting too much. I was surrounded by Merz, after all. I did refuse to make eye contact any of the 6 or 7 times $375.40 turned around to try and engage me in conversation for no reason, I presume, other than to delay me further. After she finally got her purchase all sorted, my purchase was rung up quickly and I got out of the Apothecary just in time to see her and her daughter step into a waiting stretch limo. A stretch limo. That had been waiting. In front of Merz. For I'd say at least a half hour while this woman and her daughter sampled the wares and chose which of them to take home. There was a line of cars trying to get around this limo all the way back to Lawrence. I do forget how popular and unique Merz is, taking it for granted seeing as we live mere blocks away.


Rev Transit said...

"I was pretty sure Shannon wouldn't mind missing out on my spending 45 minutes trying on fitness bras at Fleet Feet..."

Well, I guess this is one of the ways that straight couples are different from gay couples. Still, it seems like if he's going to help you pick out any clothes...

Mu said...

Hey! We have a Furminator too. I refer to it by what it should have been called, the Furinator. They work really well (when we actually use it).

Shannon said...

Sports bras are too confining. If Jo ever needs help picking out bikini tops, I'm there!

Matt Stratton said...

Two things:

1) We heart the Furminator. After we use it, we end up with enough fur on the deck to make three new dogs.

2) I read this post aloud to Carrie, and my mother-in-law was listening. She said "That girl should be a comedy writer. That's what she should do for a job." :)

OrangeMoJoJo said...

The Furminator is amazing!

Thank you for passing on your mom-in-law's comment! (o: I'm glad she enjoyed the post. I think I worked on that post than I did, well, work at my job the entire month so far....(o;