I was thrilled when I'd heard Obama had appointed Johnette Napolitano, lead singer of Concrete Blonde, Secretary of Homeland Security. Excellent choice! Her haunting, powerful voice would make any terrorist think twice before messing with HER country! Indeed, terrorists listening to the lyrics of "Bloodletting" or "Long Black Car" might think we were populated with vampires! Good! FEAR US!!!
She's also got the perfect look for the job. She can class it up for meetings with heads of state, or flash one of her kick-ass "don't mess with me!!!" tattoos.
Her tattoos are also a clear message to terrorists: "I can deal with needles piercing my skin constantly and repeatedly for hours at a time - I can certainly deal with YOU!"
And then I realized I'd missheard the announcement. Johnette Napolitano is working on a new album whereas Arizona governor Janet Napolitano received the Obamappointment.
I wonder if she has any tattoos? Or if she belts out "The Sky Is A Poisonous Garden" when driving to meetings with ObamEmmanuel? My confidence in Obama's choice would be complete if either were the case.