I no longer resemble Sandra Bullock.
So when you see her from now on, I ask that you don't think of me. This is how I want to be remembered:
Because unless I've had one to many glasses of Pinot at a mardi-gras-themed restaurant and I lose a bet, I'll never wear something with a top where they've pinned different colored napkins or other sundry table linens to my boobs.
Or satin, for that matter.
Or those shoes.
Unless they're really comfy.
And then I'll only wear them with jeans.